It’s going on 5 months now that Ryan and I returned from
Africa…and a day hasn’t passed where I don’t miss it. I miss the kids, the
various smells (not the stench of BO), the sweet innocent smiles of the village
children, the touch of a clammy/dirty hand in mine, the giggles that carry on
like music in my ear, the nights that ended with the children crying out to
God, playing Skip-Bo and Uno until I could no more, hearing “tata” on a regular
basis…I mean the list could go on and on. My heart aches lately to be there,
even in the fun midst of planning the biggest day of my life. I wish my wedding
party could consist of 30 beautiful brown skin children that would cheer for Tata
Erika and Uncle Ryan when we say “I do”…
But I have to remember…God has a plan. I often forget that
and think “OK God, I got this…we are going to do this this and this, and have
kids at this time, and live here at that time, have this job now and that job
then…” All the while never asking what HIS plans are. See I want His plans, but
I usually have my own that I think are better and make more sense. As humans we
can’t see the end results, and our patience levels are so low that we can’t
BARE to wait on God and His timing. So…we take matters into our own hands,
create our own plans and worries, while leaving God out of the picture. This
has been a huge struggle for me lately. So much so that I don’t even want to
ask God what His plans are for me. My selfish flesh wants an answer NOW…I don’t
want to have to wait…and then I hear it…“Be STILL and KNOW”
Not sure why I felt the urge to blog today, but I felt like I needed to. If someone reading this is struggling with direction, plans for their life, can’t stop asking “why and when, God?” …just remember to be still. His voice is still and soft, and won’t always be found in the fire or the earthquake moments of your life…so be sure to be still…listen…and KNOW that He ALONE is God, and He ALONE is in control.
